why she/he could not break away
from a person who was so destructive/abusive?
Abusers do not play fair.
You will not be involved in an equal discussion; the cards are stacked against you; the game is fixed.
Abusers are Jekyll and Hyde types - you will often be dealing with essentially two personalities.
jekyll and hyde means - One who has a dual personality that alternates between phases of good and evil behavior.
You may see a kind, caring side much of the time but then be confronted with a dark, angry, loud, critical, judgmental, uncompromising side that engages in personal attacks, belittling, manipulation and humiliation. ==== Abusive statements are used to gain or maintain control.
In my experience abusers will use anything that works to keep control; they even use rational and sensible arguments! They do not care which technique as long as they win. Note: rational arguments are something you should encourage while discouraging the other behavior.
==== Abusive statements are meant to push your buttons, provoke you and throw you off guard.
Things such as anger, guilt, disappointment, jealousy and regret are often used by abusers to get your goat.
make him stupid.
make him angry.
make him JEALOUS!
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