have you ever thought..?

the cross .
as cicero referred to it as abominable punishment.
that inflicted terrible suffering on the crucified person
before he or she died.
and yet, nowadays people wear it around their neck, hang it on their bedroom wall, and have come to identify it as a religious symbol, forgetting that they are looking at an instrument of torture.


from the the story of hanz and fritz...

acomodador

Was there a point in your life you've been stucked? ; failed? ; unable to move on?
this point called ACOMODADOR

The acomodador or giving-up point :
there is always an event in our lives
that is responsible for us failing to progress;
a trauma, a particularly bitter defeat, a disappointment in love,
even a victory that we did not understand,
can make cowards of us and prevent us from moving on.

i've read this from the novel of P. Coelho.
I was being hit by the term
and boosted my weak soul to get uP!


we have to learn how to fail on something,
so we can achieve something else.

we must find our own way to beat the acomodador from ourselves.

praise me, and i'll get myself squared.

when people praise us,

we should always keep a close eye on

how we behave

change

"No one can make a sea disappear"

invisible thief__

you help me build my life
and had nearly destroyed me
you were like a thief in the night
who stole my heart and dignity
and without the intention
of returning back home

nakarelate lang ako sa isang nobela ni PC.

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what pain taught me...

Pain.

have you suffer enough pain?

me? uhm i dont really know.

Pain is inevitably, undeniably part of life. It's human nature to cry, scream out louder, kneel under the rain, drink till the night surrenders...et al.

Was it wrong to express like this?
I just want to loose all the negative emotions -
the feeling to avenge,
the feeling to kill, the feeling of being dispirited, being betrayed, stabbed....
But i dont think that meant I'm BrokeN .weaK.hopeless.incompetent.pathetic. incapable to love again, incapable to move ahead more than you'd expect.

BIG LOLS.





Thanks for that. pain made me realised where are the shattered pieces of me. made me discover the 'lacking' in me. made me realised there's more to life than being enslave in your world.

pain resurrected me from being dead in all the things that I just overlooked.discounted.and whatever.

Pain made me realised that I need to be connected and reconnected. that I should not live this life selfishly alone. It challenged my pride and confidence. And disregard the world of formality and accepts the low ways of conversations and communications.




even though I always babbling about death, my death and the waiting of death...don't mean I'm not capable of living. I just don't quite follow the rules of this world,in fact, we haven't really know who set really these rules. Apparently, I too am only capable of losing a life , surely unsure of bringing some lives in this complicated world.

when loneliness shadowed me...

If you have ever lost someone very important to you,
then you already know how it FEELS,
and if you haven't
you CANNOT possibly IMAGINE it.



It's crazy how at one moment
from a bond ,
when you have recklessly spend your time
with that someone
no matter what other people say
no matter what critics and ugly comments
receive , heard.
you both go on and on
like white birds flying and crashing
with the waves of the sea

It's still amazing and
I could say no one can unlock
our inseparable hands

but time has come
uff! I hate our destiny.


I'm not her future holder
she has a life too
And I knew this right from the start
I met her
That she had another life afar from me
it's inevitable.
Nevertheless, we cannot live all our life together
and spending all our free time alone

"What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away"

"It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone"

by rascal flatts


while it's playing in my mp3
It's like I make a music video inside my head
Me watching her take steps going inside the airport
Even if i hold much of my tears
it really poured out
damn.damn.damn.
feeling' boneless.
feelin' gray.
feelin' crazy.


[It's ironic
She doesn't remember this song
when she's the one who listened this before
And I just ignored it[

Obviously, this was my song when she left me.






All i have now
are the memories that i don't really know
if it help or it hurts more
it makes me smile
it makes me cry
it squeeze my heart
it breaks my head

I have memories wit' her everywhere!!!

Randomly at the mall shopping @ artwork and elsewhere
@ mcdo beating their ads wit fries in the fudge,
convenience store late @ night,
walking in her street
going to downtown
Every stuff in my room,
playing games @ cafe
her ALL.


I miss you best.


God bless.



♥

my color personality test

peachcake8 took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! ""Is intimidated by the activities going on around ..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

the sudden loss of 'r chief blood [violet mode]

the loss of someone...[breakdown mode]
what should i feel?
I know i supposed to cry
but my head kept tellin' me
why would I?
when years have gone
I used to live without a father in my side
there were no how-are-you's
No...Nothing at all.

I know the death of my father is unpredictive,
unexpected,
no signs at all.
when my father almost loss his breathe, 99% dying...
I just thought if it all flashback to his mind
all his lacks,
defection,
failure for his family:
to his son and daughters
being unable to show the role of a father.

" Ano kaya ang mga huling sambit ng kanyang bibig
at huling laman ng kanyang isip."

Not all wounds get healed
If not doctorized by the person
who caused you agony and trouble within,
time take cares of it.

So I hope they won't demand me right away
to forgive and consider asap
it's because he's now dead
I still believe there's the right time
to lighten all the weights inside.

I know my heart and my mind
will gotta find a way to fix all itself

sayonara.